My Grandma is just like any other “typical” Grandma or at least I thought! I got a call from Grandma earlier in the week and I almost always answer when she calls because if I don’t she will put out a family hit on me to have someone reach me and have me call her back. I was making dinner with my cousin, Kat, when Grandma called and just mentioned that Kat was at the house and asked what she needed. She was happy that the two of us were together and mentioned that she had a surprise for both of us but they were different presents. Little back story here: Kat is 6 weeks younger than me so normally all presents that I receive in May for my birthday most likely will reappear for Kat in July but it will be a different color. For Grandma to say that our “surprises” were different was a bit unusual but still nice that she had presents for us. She told me that she would see Kat on Friday when the family was going to the St. John’s Fish Fry and that I needed to stop over to get my present sometime soon.
Fast forward to Friday night around 8:30 pm when my phone rings and it is Kat. She called to tell me what Grandma gave her at the Fish Fry in front of a good chunk of our family and she was laughing the entire conversation. Apparently Grandma gave Kat an Angel that will help her find a man. Oh my goodness, Grandma is actually buying a trinket or relic that will help Kat find not only a man but a HUSBAND. Grandma purchased this angel from a friend of hers that has made them for other people and within a year of receiving this angel those people were married (so says Grandma). I was laughing so hard that my Grandma was actually meddling in Kat’s love life……I mean, c’mon Grandma we are only 27! The best part was that Kat had to ask Grandma what to do with the angel; she asked if she should keep it in her underwear drawer, her bed, and I’ll let your imagination take over at this point.
Okay, let’s fast forward a little more to today, Sunday, when I went on a fabulous run and then ended up stopping over at Grandma and Grandpa’s house to pick up my surprise. I met Grandpa outside chatting with his neighbor and he walked me in the house to meet up with Grandma making home-made meatballs (yum). I’m painting this picture for you so that you have a mental for this next loop I’m going to throw you.
The three of us are standing in the kitchen area as Grandma is mixing up her meatball recipe and she has Grandpa go get my surprise from the dining room. He comes back with a bag that looks like any bag that some other crafty woman had hand-made. I’m thinking that whatever is in the bag is going to resemble the bag, something cute and crafty. So I go ahead and reach in to pull out a tissue paper wrapped item, no big deal but as I unravel the tissue paper I can just see out of my periph Grandma and Grandpa watching me with a hint of glee or giddy like they absolutely can not wait until I find out whats inside. Sure it was a present and when I give presents I also get excited when I know it is what the other person wanted or if I think I found the absolute perfect gift for that person, but this was a different feeling. So I go ahead and un-wrap the tissue paper to find a red velvet looking bag that was tied. Interesting! I went ahead and pulled open the red velvet bag and never in a million years thought I would be getting a thong (yes, a THONG) from my Grandma.
TIME-OUT – Don’t forget that my GRANDPA was also watching me open this surprise!!!
I only peeked in the bag to find out what it was but didn’t pull it out, I was already in shock that I had received a thong from my grandparents but then this was said; “this is a present for you and George so that you can make a baby.” WHAT??? Are you kidding me??? Kat gets a “Husband” angel and George and I get a “make a baby” angel. Oh my goodness, I just could not stop laughing. I was laughing because I was half-embarrassed (and it takes a lot to make me embarrassed) and I was still half shocked that my Grandma must really want me to have a baby.
Of course I had to call Kat right away and tell her what present I received from Grandma and then I called my mom (couldn’t get a hold of George) and had to tell her the story and then George finally got home. I had him look at the bag and open it just the way I did about 20 minutes earlier. He was laughing too and said that we have to use this thong on the night we decide to start trying to make a baby, haha! I will definitely be more cautious the next time Grandma tells me she has a “surprise” for me!